The road to gratitude and connection

As the quiet hum of Thanksgiving is beginning to settle in (at least for those of us here in the US), I find myself deeply grateful for the simple things in life. My family, my health, and a safe place we can all call home.

But I’m also noticing the small delights. ☺️

Like yesterday morning, when I was met with an unexpected surprise: the street construction near my home is complete! For the past two months, driving anywhere has been a literal hell on wheels. Road work has been a constant source of frustration - I didn’t even know it was planned, and once it started it seemed like it would never end. Especially because it was in a central area that was impossible to avoid.

At its worst, driving a 3 block stretch took 20 minutes and put rumble strips to shame. It felt like riding a bucking bronco that was strapped onto a herky jerky carnival ride that might fall apart at any moment, with the added thrill of dodging monster truck size demolition equipment that could crush me in an instant. To complete the scene, let's add a sea of seemingly fearless humans draped in fluorescent fashion, and a constant stream of beeps and bleeps bleeding into my brain.

In short? I was not a fan of the work required to fix whatever problems were underfoot - much less the project's timeline. It caused several late school drop-offs, which meant both my daughter and I started those mornings fighting a swirl of rage and embarrassment. I was reduced to speaking in grunt on a daily basis.

Yesterday, however, was surprisingly different. Not only did I arrive at an appointment extra early, the ride there was exquisite! All the bumps in the road had been smoothed out and filled in. I was basking in unexpected delight, absolutely beaming and graciously effusive with the staff checking me in.

It’s amazing how much that simple shift - the smooth, reliable foundation of a newly paved road - brightened my mood. I felt the glow for hours.

But as grateful as I am for our new stretch of asphalt, my thoughts this week have been shifting to another, more essential foundation in our lives. It's one we often neglect until the holidays come up, or we find ourselves in a place where we desperately need it.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 The relationships in our lives.

The connections and friendships that make everything… better.

Earlier this month I traveled to New York. I went to attend an award party (which I reflected on here), and I stayed an extra day to see some folks I hadn’t seen in years. I talked for hours with a dear, dear friend who I’d fallen out of touch with in the years since COVID, and laughed all the way through dinner with old colleagues over our shared memories and history.

It was like no time had passed between any of us. We simply had new stories to share about all our experiences since we last connected.

I am incredibly blessed to have so many people in my life whom I love and respect deeply. But life gets busy and it isn’t humanly possible to stay close with everyone.

Unfortunately, when a friendship or connection has gone "quiet" and we don’t talk regularly anymore, I sometimes interpret the silence as a sign that the relationship has run its course. It can feel like the bond has been broken after a period of neglect and starvation.

The good news? Well, maybe not “good,” but at least comforting - it turns out most of us struggle with these kinds of thoughts.

We are all wrestling the inertia of the modern world. We're trying to simply stay afloat amid a flurry of competing demands for our precious time. We are driven to do whatever is most urgent, whatever produces the biggest splash or the quickest win. Or, we find ourselves attempting to calm the chaos, if only for a moment - pacifying a screaming child clamoring for our attention, or appeasing an overbearing coworker to prevent a crazy-making tailspin.

In all this commotion, we often forget about the ultimate return on our investment.

Relationships. Deep, genuine connection. 🤗

At different points throughout my lovely day in New York, every one of my old friends said some version of “I’m so glad we caught up. I'd like to do this more often.” I said it, too. Even though we hadn't seen each other face to face in years.

We hadn’t talked, because we hadn’t talked. Which led to us not talking. That was it.

My relationships hadn't died, and they weren’t starving. There wasn’t any ill will. Life had simply happened. We had too many other things competing for our attention, and so we focused elsewhere.

The joy and gratitude I felt that day, it's evidence that friendships that have gone “quiet” aren’t necessarily broken or dead. They might just need a nudge, a little attention, to come back to life.

And the real smooth road beneath us? It’s our relationships. Our families, our friends and work buddies are the foundation that keeps us grounded.

They're the inside track that makes it possible for us to chase after everything else.

This Thanksgiving week, if you’re someone who struggles with the universal feeling of guilt that you’re “bad at staying in touch,” I’d like to welcome you to clear the air.

Your challenge for today is simple: reach out to one person you miss. Don't worry about scheduling the perfect outing or a dinner party. Don't send a novel. Just act on that flicker of a memory that makes you think of them.

Send a text. Write a short email. If you’ve got a stamp, write a real letter and mail it. Just let them know they are valued.

"Thinking of you. What's going on in your world?"

See what opens up when you reach out.

Wishing you a week full of smooth roads, quiet moments, and meaningful connection.

💥 Break Out!

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”​ - Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie